Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
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I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
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My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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