ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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