C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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