Apparently you make a good broom.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize