Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
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I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
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Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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