Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
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Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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