it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
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Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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