i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize