I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize