When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
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she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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