There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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