I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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