Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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