apparently the secret to your success is patron
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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