I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i need some magic done to my vagina
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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