Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I need to stop coming to work sober
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize