you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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