someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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