Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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