Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
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he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
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I'd cum for enchiladas.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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