I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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