i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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