we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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