I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
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He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
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Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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