I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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