i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
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As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
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Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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