OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
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If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
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I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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