omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
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Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
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The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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