When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize