the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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