We're facebook friends in real life
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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