there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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