You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize