I think my vagina is haunted
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize