I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
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We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
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If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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