Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
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traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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