I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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