afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
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started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
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I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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