Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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