they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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