god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
there is glitter all over my balls
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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