Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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