Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize