your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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