How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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