The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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