Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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