At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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