New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize