I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize